Welcome to the Space that always is…

My father would be 80 years old Wednesday/16th. (And my brother turns 52:–Happy Birthday bro!  You are the amazing volleyball dad).

I thought it would be appropriate to share a piece of writing from my journal during my father’s last year:

“The Pa, the father, the man of the house, the guy who worked so hard to provide a home for his family: that’s my dad. He came from humble beginnings, growing up poor, working on his uncle’s farm in the summers in upstate New York. His own father died when he was just six years old.

To be with my dad now is precious. It always has been but when the immediacy of a sudden, acute ailment arrives, in the form of  cancer, slamming in with full force like a bolt from the blue, well- the preciousness takes on more depth.

Gratitude, the pearl of love, that is what I feel. That pearl is lodged in my heart and no one can take it from me. My father’s impending form change will not touch that pearl. His greatest gifts to me, beyond taking such great care of my physical comforts, have been his Heart-Fullness. We all have that Heart-Fullness and yet some of us exude it in such a palpable way, that everyone who meets them feels That Heart, at some level. That is the gift I most treasure and the one that will never leave. Everyone who knows my father feels this and they adore him. Saying things like:

‘Your dad is such a great guy; what a beautiful man;” These days, when I visit my Pa, that Heart-Fullness feels even more potent. The vulnerability has enhanced the Heart-Fullness. How wonderful to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable is to be unmasked, removed at least temporarily, from our deepest conditioning. One becomes exposed to life in its purity and simplicity. Everything hidden comes rushing in; long held emotions press forward like shooting stars. What we have been hiding from is love. If only we could see that the apparent separation and dysfunctional coping patterns we harbor are protecting a full immersion into the depths of love. The end of life can bring incredible insight to life.

Of course, it is not always so. Sometimes bitterness, grudges, old resentments continue to keep up the barrier: illusion. The inner torment is deep. Even continued suffering, however, is grace. Some have to burn in the fire longer before they are cooked. Supper is here waiting and IT will wait for Eternity- as IT is Eternity.”


Thanks dad, you are with me every day, just as you have always been!

When you’ve spent a decade inside the chronic illness wagon, it’s a bit like being kidnapped and held hostage by a mob hitman. Your insides are saying:

‘Will today be the day he pulls the trigger and sends you to rest underneath the lilies in a shallow grave or might you heroically escape and be freed to live with vitality again?’

A cold, infection or some type of acute illness form arrived. (Yes, I did say acute -not ‘chronic’ -which in my line of thought is a momentous distinction). At first, a small nuisance cold, this little bugger has turned into a real doozy, pins and needles in the head with coughing, with pulsating headache, inner ears spinning like ball-bearings, low grade fever, near loss of voice, and a suspicious dry cough, which finally today decided to dislodge a phlegm ball stuck in the throat or upper lung. It was the newest shade of aqua green. Enough details?! 🙂 I find myself in full surrender again, melting into insignificance on the vitality front and letting go of what might have been (but still could be right:).

Good lord, and here I was slowly making a return to consistent and deeper physical wellness. And despite my pure diet, foot reflex routine, himalayan salt gargle with hydrogen peroxide, super tincture with natural antibiotic and antiviral herbals, lugols iodine, Results RNA Silver,  things are in a slow slog.

Even the Almighty Celery has been losing its super hero status. There’s a desperation that goes with a return of illness, especially when you have tasted the ambrosia of good health again, even if it was one chocolate chip from the bag.

And so much for the new exercise routine, the adventurous backpacking trip in summer and all of the things I have long been unable to participate in. The truth is, this body is not what it once was. Not even close, for when even small stressors on the physical or emotional level occur, the system does not seem to handle them. Heart rate becomes too elevated, bang-fatigue. Drive to Sacramento in a day…read on:

Six hours of driving on my only day off of the week- (3 there and 3 back), time with grandkids…well, I attempted this feat after 6 weeks of steady return to a higher physical vibration. You see, I found myself missing my daughter Jessica–and she sure has her hands full with work, 3 kids, ages: 9, 7 and 2 and while being 7 months pregnant.

In the last year, this kind of trip was not practical or even possible in a realistic sense.

Sure, all the usual suspects are possible: gas pump plague, ATM influenza, and door handle sepsis….did I really get exposed to an infectious agent or is it a holistic combination of circumstances–I use the word holistic with the idea that all is God’s grace and that everything that happens is for the highest good. Whether we can see that truth is another thing.

When I first arrive, Paxton, my near 2 year old grandson is having a steroid vapor administered by my daughter. He is playing and having fun. We engage in a sweet way that warms my heart; for kids at that age are so in the present moment that they have no concept of time or even sense of individuality.  Life is a game for him as he pulls away from the vapor, Jessica tracks him like a hungry bear on the scent, keeping the mask of vapor right near his nose and mouth.

This little play of medications is uncomfortable for me. I feel myself freezing up, like I often did as a young boy. For you see I had childhood asthma, allergies and ear infections, just like my grandson Paxton.  So did my daughter Jessica. Before I can get a real grip on the vast array of emotions and feelings that are bombarding my system, Peyton the 9 year old enters the room.

“Papa, you’re here!” He states the words with subdued excitement. My heart aches for him.

“Peyton has been bad and was doing chill time in his room, watching a movie on his laptop.” Jessica says. Peyton listens to these words with his head held low, chin tucked down, gritting his teeth. He says nothing for a few seconds, before:

“Papa let’s go outside and play!” I assure him that we will but I want to spend some time with Paxton before he goes for his nap in about 30 minutes.

My 9 year old grandson Peyton is overtly depressed (which means he lets everyone know he is angry and unhappy through a vast array of demonstrations, then has short periods of covert depression—which is how most people think of depression).


So, as this cold/toxin or infectious agent plays the latest dance in my system, I wonder about the emotional aspect of illness, about generation and constitutional dynamics–good old genetics, etc. And then there is the family constellation aspects–which are in full play with us all, creating tremendous triggers and tension from unresolved issues.

Much more can be said about these family dynamics but the bottom line is: most parents play out this drama with their kids in some form. I certainly had moments of this but since I did not primarily raise my daughter (her mom and I split up when Jessica was 1) the principle conditioning patterns where implemented by her step dad and mother.

For now, I settle in to being with what is, truly feeling and letting things be as they are.

Do I really need things to be different? If I do, suffering; if not, peace.




“Spiritual Laziness and lust (unrestrained sexual craving)- these two are the greatest obstacles on the path to Soul-Recognition. It is patience and fortitude that are most helpful. If anyone has been so blessed as to feel that the spiritual path is all-beneficial – if God bestows grace on anyone in this way – it is necessary that one should exert his will-power to the utmost and devote day and night to the Service of God. The various activities that aid the spiritual life have to be knit together closely with ever renewed effort just as when a flower garland carefully strung, the thread cannot be seen. No sooner does the mind find a gap in the garland than it will direct all its actions downwards, towards the perishable. Therefore, even though meditation may never be successful, persist to the limit of your capacity.

One should engage in worship, recite holy texts, sing the praises of God or read books on spiritual subjects. Choose carefully and Abide Strictly by Occupations that Awaken Divine Aspiration, thoughts and feelings. Be very firm in your resolve to cultivate as much as possible the actions that are helpful to a God-Centered Life. Engage in them even when there is no desire- as one takes medicine. With or without inclination persevere in their performance, so that there may be no time at all left for the display of restlessness. To indulge in unnecessary, physical comforts is to turn aside from the communion with God; to yield to the likes and dislikes of the tongue and to taste in order to satisfy the palate is to deprive oneself in equal measure of the relish of the Divine. Therefore, whatever food or drink is taken should be consecrated to God and partaken of as a consecrated religious offering. Do not eat what does not agree with you. Take a full meal at midday, raw milk in the afternoon, some fruit or small salad at night.

Keep your thinking on a very high level. Praise and blame must become alike. Nothing in the world should be repulsive to you. Look into your own heart and become repelled by the repulsion. It is only so long as the mind is filled with the thought of God, with the Awareness of That Presence that there can be Real Rest. Food, sleep, toilet, clothes, etc., should be given only as much attention as is needed for the maintenance of health. What is the use of a merely well-nourished body? Rather the physical body should become an aid to spiritual endeavor. Exclusively to this end- the Life Force Current must be diverted away from the world- and move Unceasingly in the Direction of the Divine.

Take pains to discover for yourself the various things that you can do with Real Joy and that will bring you nearer to God. Has anyone ever become great by sitting down and saying ‘I cannot’? Anger, greed and the like must be altogether abandoned. Neither should you be swayed by praise or prestige. Do not retort in a spirit of contradiction to anything that is said. Reply politely with a smile and say no more. All work must be done as a service to God. The longer you can remain stirred inwardly by the feeling of That Eternal Presence, the more will your body, your mind and your actions progress towards the Divine State of Being. Attune yourself solely to God.

To seek Truth is man’s one and only duty. Learn by heart hymns and verses in praise of God and repeat them as you move about. Never allow your mind to be idle. Keep the mind engaged in the repetition of God’s Name, of sacred hymns and the like, or else in Pure Silent Remembrance. One thing more: Happiness and sorrow are time-born and obviously cannot last. Therefore do not be swayed by them. Keep in mind that they must pass in time.

Aiming at the Highest, True Joy, True Bliss and hold your course and attend your work, totally unconcerned with the results. And yet another thing:  It is the Beloved God that manifests in all temperaments and forms: whomsoever you may hate, you hate but your own Beloved. In the whole universe, in all states of being, in all forms is that Eternal One. All names, all shapes, all qualities, and All Modes of Existence are Truly the Supreme Being Alone. To help towards Soul-Recognition, God appears to different individuals in different ways: in the shape of the wise one, in sacred sound, in the inner vision of the Beloved. Even if devotion and reverence are not natural to you, try to cultivate them by recognizing the need for them. Do all your work with this attitude. The greater the difficulties and obstructions, and the more intense your endeavor to abide in God’s Holy Presence, the more will your power increase from within. And when the time is ripe, you will gain mastery over this very power. Time is precious and must be used well. The day, the hour that is gone, returns not.

It is necessary to try and dedicate to the Supreme every single action of one’s daily life. From the moment one wakes up in the morning until one falls asleep at night one should endeavor to sustain this attitude of mind. By so doing one will gradually come to feel:

‘How can I offer greed, anger and other undesirable qualities of this kind to That which is so infinitely dear to me? Does one give that which is bad to their loved ones?’ As one continues to reflect in this way, one finally becomes incapable of doing anything bad or undesirable. Then, when surrendered completely, having sacrificed without reserve whatever small power one possesses, so that there is nothing left to call one’s own, do you know what the Supreme Beloved Lord does at that fortunate moment? Out of your littleness, one is made perfect, whole, and then nothing remains to be desired or achieved. The moment your Self-Dedication becomes complete, at that very instant, a revelation occurs of the indivisible, unbroken perfection which is ever revealed by God as the Soul.”

Guardian of Being…

For my beloved wife:

For nearly 15 timeless years we have floated together in a most unorthodox relationship, immersed in the pathless path, often bereft of even body sense. Still, our hearts rest forever in union:

Dear Sensitive Soul with the wondrous heart. Remember you are the Guardian of Being-one of the most subtle and challenging occupations. In the Dwapara Yuga mankind only knows the True Self one quarter of the way. If not for you, many would drift off into insanity and delusion. Countless humans are transformed by your very presence.

It has been an great honor to share with you, stand by your side and be awed by the grandeur that your beingness provides. Your presence is like the oasis that Moses found after crossing the desert. Instead of finding figs and a deep well, I’ve seen the bliss of the true Self through you.

You are the water that flows from the depths of Ocean. All the individual rivers or so-called persons can find refuge and be led back to their true Home through your majesty.

I am honored and humbled before your beauty. Most do not understand or see your magnificence-but I do! From the moment I first found you starting back at me with those alive eyes: playful, mischievous, full of divine laughter and freedom-I recognized Home. I knew then that I had returned from my blind wanderings, finding myself at the destination all along.

HOME, salvation- the Supreme Goodness- I will always reside there with you. You helped awaken the eternal in me, held the space which allowed the worldly hypnosis to fade and allowed me to trust the abiding Divinity.


The Almighty Celery…

In 1910 Dr. Norman Walker, a natural healer and educator, founded the Norwalk Laboratories of Nutritional Chemistry and Scientific Research. Doctor Walker (1885-1984) devised the first electric vegetable juicer in 1930. The manual juicing methods of the time were inefficient and wasted many of the vital nutrients and enzymes. His invention of the Triturator Juicer, became known as the Norwalk Press Juicer.  This was an early version of what is still considered the best juicer on the market, the Norwalk 280.

Doctor Walker’s early research on therapeutic juicing has stood the test of time. His research produced a book, ‘Fresh Vegetable and Fruit Juices’ which details a scientific way to juice for particular health concerns. For instance, someone with arthritis would drink (several hours apart 30 minutes before meals) one pint of formula 22 (grapefruit juice), one pint of formula 61 (10 oz carrot, 6 oz spinach) and one pint of formula 6 (celery).

Doctor Walker found that one needed to drink at least one pint a day of properly prepared juice to receive a noticeable health improvement. (He recommended that one cut out all sugar and processed flour products to optimize effectiveness but that the juicing therapy would still work as long as one did at least three pints a day for several months).

The Gerson Institute validated Doctor Walker’s research. (Doctor Gerson, a contemporary of Walker, created a well-known, heavily juice-dependent, natural cancer therapy). The Gerson researchers found that one must juice using a grinder and hydraulic press (not a centrifugal juicer which produces heat and electricity that damage the enzymes, extracts 25 percent less juice, and loses many essential nutrients). Further the Gerson Institute showed that when one did not drink the juice within 15 minutes, their cancer therapy was much less effective as seen through patient recovery rates, mostly due to loss of enzymes from oxidation.

Enzymes are not well understood in our culture. According to Dr. Walker, enzymes are “a intangible magnetic Cosmic Energy of Life Principle…involved in the action and activity of every atom in the human body…” Enzymes are sensitive to temperature and are altered above 118 degrees, and completely destroyed above 130 degrees.

Most of you, readers of this blog, have been following my history. For others new to this blog, let me summarize the last decade. In 2008 I came down with a nasty eye infection, months later the stress from the loss of a beloved client, combined with a playful tiger bite and a new job working with a mentally ill patient, initiated shingles.

Soon after lyme disease seemed to take hold. All of which brought about a complete collapse in vitality and well-being. I slowly recovered over a 2 year period and in 2011 was strong enough to backpack again, but still was not recovering well after pushing myself hard physically. My diet was better than most but still needed refinement (splurges on gluten free muffins and energy bars, drinking too much green tea further  exhausted the adrenals, though my health was somewhat stable and much better between 2011 to 2015. In 2015 a rapid decline took place in health and I tried many new therapies, ozone therapy the best among many, for which many blogs have been written.

In the last 6 months, I cut out all sugar, got off caffeine (helping to restore exhausted adrenals), and tossed out a moldy old organic mattress (which was way moldier than I ever imagined-[probably from a long ago water spill). Also, I eliminated some old negative thought patterns and beliefs. And of course I began juicing celery, every day; it is my religion now (along with silent contemplation of the Source Energy=meditation).

This has brought about a deeper recovery.

Celery juice has been my go to juice for 5 months now. My body craves it like the holy grail. And finally, in the last weeks, the celery juice is paying real dividends in the realm of recovered physical vitality. I feel like I have been given a new lease on life. Can you say ecstatic?! I can and I do.

Yesterday, I actually did strenuous exercise for the first time in years, without feeling immediately-exhausted afterwards. One thing is for certain, vitality has suddenly returned and I am able to do things with a certain ease which has been sorely missing the last 3 years.

According to the well known Medical Medium, Anthony William:

“Celery is one of the most powerful anti-inflammatory foods, because it starves unproductive bacteria, yeast, mold, fungus, and viruses that are present in the body and flushes their toxins and debris out of the intestinal tract and liver.”

Anthony goes on to say that adding celery juice to your diet “is the best way to resolve ammonia permeability, an unrecognized condition in which ammonia gas seeps through the intestinal lining and causes health issues such as dental rot and brain fog.” These issues are called numerous names, like Leaky Gut, Irritable Bowel, constipation and the like.”

Celery has long been known as a potent alkalyzer in the digestive tract. Its high, naturally derived and incredibly complex array of sodium restores the entire gastrointestinal tract. Celery juice raises hydrochloric acid levels in the stomach, which diminish with normal aging and are greatly impaired in many chronic illnesses. Celery also restores adrenal function, hydrates the cells and calms the nervous system.

According to Dr. Norman Walker, inflammation, as in arthritis and almost every single physical ailment and illness, is linked to stored resentments.  Resentments and other negative emotional states are less known causative agents in many chronic illnesses. Dr. Walker also notes that celery juice can “raise your spiritual awareness.”

The emotional and spiritual link between foods is much less understood; some have said that crunchy food cravings relate to anger. The urge to eat gluten or wheat comes when one is filling ill at ease;  sugar cravings are related to excitement; chocolate is a way to feel sensual as a replacement for sexuality.  Likewise, drinking alcohol is an illusory way to feel self-acceptance and shield one from true intimacy; while fatty and fried food cravings may act as an insulator from the feeling of shame.

 As I stated in a book a few years back:


“Our systems are overloaded with poisons in the form of chemical toxins, putrefied and mucous encrusted bowels, regurgitated beliefs, and repetitive negative thinking. Somehow we have been duped and conditioned to accept these poisons as part of life. We are programmed to: imbibe various poisons as necessary evils essential to the journey, while abstaining from solid food, or juicing is considered dangerous. And what most people consider food is not, by definition, food at all. We have become so distanced from the natural, in all its subtle and solid forms. With juicing, detoxifying, and cleansing, you don’t poison yourself to release poison, you let go of what no longer serves and take in vital nutrients, enhancing the body’s ability to restore itself.

I can’t promise that celery juice will be your cure all, that bodily disruptions will evaporate instantly, nor will I say that no more delusions will bother you. I can vouch for the power of God’s grace and tell you that perseverance, sincerity, patience and juicing are resources on the journey to deeper wellness.

Hallelujah, Amen!

I have been editing a translation of an ancient text much of the last month. The document is said to be about 3500 years old. (NOTE:  Edited from an original translation by Eknath Easwaran).

When you are up against the idea of death, like I have been in the last two decades, as an end of life caregiver and the challenge of a chronic illness, it is nice to see a lucid and clear declaration that what dies is the body, not the soul. And what you really are is not the body.

So here it is–a bit long but well worth the read:


Introduction: A Dialogue with the Angel of Death



This legendary story is considered one of the greatest manifestations of mystic philosophy and poetry of the ancients.

The little boy, John, meets the angel of death. Their conversation centers around and attempts to transmit spiritual knowledge, the true nature of man, of Soul, God and ultimate liberation.


John went to see the Angel of death’s but the Angel was not there. He waited three days.


The Angel of death said:


O spiritual guest, I grant you three wishes

to atone for the three inhospitable nights

you have spent waiting in my abode.

Ask for three wishes, one for each night.




O Angel of death, as the first of these wishes

grant that my father’s anger be appeased,

so he may recognize me when I return

and receive me with love.





The Angel of death replied


I grant that your father will love you as in the past.

When he sees you released from the jaws of death,

he will sleep with a mind at peace.


JOHN continued:


There is no fear at all in heaven; for

There is no old age, nor death.

Passing beyond hunger and thirst and pain,

all rejoice in the kingdom of heaven.


Do you know the pathway that leads to heaven

O Angel of death? I have full faith in you and ask

for instruction. May you grant this as your second wish to me?



The essential teaching begins with the 3rd wish. John wished to know whether or not there was an immortal substance in a man that survived the death of the body. He asked about God and the nature, origin and destiny of the Soul.







A Dialogue with the Angel of Death




JOHN asked:


When a person dies, there arises this doubt:

“He still exists,” say some, “he does not,”

say others. I want you to teach me the truth.

This is my third wish.


The Angel of death responded:


This doubt haunted even the ancient ones;

for the secret of death is hard to know.

John, ask for some other wish

and release me from my promise.


JOHN said:


This doubt haunted even the ancient ones;

for it is hard to know, O Death, as you say.

I can have no greater teacher than you,

and there is no wish equal to this.






The Angel of death answered:


Ask for sons and grandsons who will live

a hundred years. Ask for herds of cattle,

elephants and horses, gold and vast land,

and ask to live as long as you desire.


Or, if you can think of anything more

desirable, ask for that, with wealth and

long life as well. John, be the ruler

of a great kingdom, and I will give you

the utmost capacity to enjoy


The pleasures of life. Ask for beautiful

women of loveliness rarely seen on earth,

riding in chariots, skilled in music,

to attend on you. But John,

do not ask me about the secret of death.












JOHN exclaimed:


These pleasures last but until tomorrow,

and they wear out the vital powers of life.

How fleeting is all life on earth! Therefore

keep your horses, chariots, dancing, women


and music, for yourself. Never can mortals

be made happy by wealth. How can we be

desirous of wealth when we see the face of death

and know we cannot truly live while the fear of death is here.

This is the wish I choose and ask you for.


Having approached an immortal like you,

how can I, subject to old age and death,

ever try to rejoice in a long life

for the sake of fleeting pleasures of the senses?


Dispel this doubt of mine, O Angel of death:

‘Does a person live after death or does he not?’

I, John, ask for no other wish

than the secret of this great mystery.










Having tested young John and found him fit to receive spiritual instruction,


The Angel of death said:


The joy of the Soul ever abides, but not

that which seems pleasant to the senses.

Both of these, differing in their purpose, prompt

man to action. All is well for those who choose

the joy of the Soul, but they miss

the goal of life, those who prefer the pleasant.


Perennial joy or passing pleasure?

This is the choice one must always make.

The wise recognize these two, but not

the ignorant. The wise welcome what leads

to abiding joy, even if they must go through pain.

The ignorant run, goaded by their senses,

after what seems immediately pleasurable.


Well, have you renounced these passing

Pleasure so dear to the senses, John, and

turned your back on the way of the world

which makes mankind forget the goal of life?





Far apart are wisdom and ignorance.

Wisdom leads one to Soul-recognition;

ignorance makes one more and more

estranged from his Soul nature. I regard you

John, worthy of instruction, for passing

pleasures tempt you not at all.


Ignorant of their ignorance, yet treasuring ego

these deluded men, proud of their vain learning

go round and round-


Like the blind led by the blind. Far beyond

their eyes, hypnotized by the world of the senses,

they think: “I am my body; when my body dies,

I die.” Living in this superstition

they fall life after life under the sway of death.


It is but few who hear about the Soul.

Fewer still dedicate their lives to Its’

recognition. Wonderful is the one who

speaks about God; rare are they who make

knowing God the supreme goal of their lives.

Blessed are they who attain Soul-recognition.







The truth of the Soul cannot come through one

who has not realized that he is the Soul.

The intellect cannot reveal the Soul through the

cluttered mind. Only one with a sincere heart,

who sees our inherent Godliness, has the ability through

spiritual osmosis to help one recognize the eternal Soul.


In Soul-recognition one realizes inherent divinity.

This cannot happen through logic, scholarship, but only

Through a close association with the living Christ.

Wise are you, John, because you seek

the eternal Soul. May we have more

spiritual aspirants like you!


JOHN interjects:


  1. I know that earthly treasures are transient

and never can I reach the eternal through them.

Hence have I renounced all my desires for earthly treasures

to win immortality through your instruction.










The Angel of death remarks:


I have spread before your eyes, John,

the fulfillment of all worldly desires:

power to dominate the earth,

celestial delights  gained through religious rites,

miraculous powers beyond time and space.

All these, using discrimination and wisdom have you renounced.


The wise, realizing through contemplation

the timeless Soul, beyond all perception,

hidden in the cave of the heart,

leave pain and pleasure far behind.


Those who know they are neither body nor mind

but the Immortal Soul, the divine

principle of existence, find the source

of all joy and live in abiding joy.

I see the joy of divine communion opening

For you, John.


JOHN said:


Teach me about That which you see as beyond right

And wrong, cause and effect, past and future.





The Angel of death exclaimed:


I will give you the Word all the scriptures

glorify, all spiritual disciplines strive to

express. This Word leads sincere aspirants to

sense-restraint and the demise of the ego.


It is AMEN- This symbol, the eternal vibration,

is the highest. Realizing the power of AMEN one surrenders

completely to the Almighty Lord.


Surrendering to AMEN is the greatest support

to all spiritual aspirants. For in this surrender, one

understands: ‘Thy Will be done.’

Those in whose hearts AMEN reverberates

unceasingly are indeed blessed and deeply loved

as one who lives in Soul recognition.


The all-knowing Soul was never born,

nor will it die. Beyond cause and effect,

the Soul is eternal and immutable.

When the body dies, the Soul does not die.


If the slayer believes that he can slay

or the slain believes that he can be slain,

neither knows the truth. The eternal Soul

slays not, nor is ever slain.




Hidden in the heart of every creature

exists the sublime Soul of All-

subtler than the subtlest,

greater than the greatest. They go beyond

sorrow who extinguish their willfulness

and behold the glory of God through

THEE Almighty grace.


Though one sits in meditation & contemplation

in a particular place, God  exercises

His influence far away.

Though still, He moves everything, everywhere.


When the wise find God

formless in the midst of forms, changeless

in the midst of change, always present

and supreme, they go beyond sorrow.


The Soul cannot be known through study

of the scriptures, nor through the intellect,

nor through hearing learned discourses.

The Soul can be attained only by those

whom God chooses. Grace, truly falls unto them

when the God reveals the Soul within.





The Soul cannot be known by anyone who seeks outwardly

or does not –desist from unrighteous ways, or who cannot control his

senses but only one who practices abiding meditation & contemplation.


Unless this is done, one cannot

know the omnipresent Soul,

whose glory makes irrelevant the rituals

of the priest and inept, the prowess of the warrior

and rids one of the idea of death itself.




In the secret cave of the heart, two are seated

by life’s fountain. The separate ego-ephemeral

drinks of the sweet and bitter stuff,

liking the sweet, disliking the bitter,

while the Soul-eternal– drinks sweet and bitter

neither liking this nor disliking that.

The ego gropes in darkness, while the Soul

lives as light. So declare the illumined saints

and all people who worship the

sacred in the name of the Lord.


O John, may your inner fire ignite

as an illumined spark that burns out the ego,

enabling you to pass from fearful fragmentation-

to fearless fullness in the changeless whole.



Know the Soul as lord of the chariot,

the body as the chariot itself,

the discriminating intellect as charioteer,

and the mind as reins.


The senses, say the wise, are the horses;

egoistic desires are the roads they travel.

when one confuses Soul with the body,

mind, and senses. Then, the wise point out,

one seems to enjoy pleasure and suffer sorrow.


When one lacks discrimination

and his mind is undisciplined, the senses

run hither and thither like wild horses.


But they obey the rein like trained horses

when one has discrimination and has made

the mind one-pointed. Those who lack

discrimination, with little control over their

thoughts, reach not the pure state of the immortal Lord.


Instead they wander from death to death; yet

Those who have discrimination, with still mind

and pure heart, reach journey’s end, forever to abide

in the kingdom of heaven, through realization of God.





With a discriminating intellect

as charioteer and a trained mind as reins,

they attain the supreme goal of life

to be united with the Lord of Love.


The senses derive from objects of sense-perception,

sense objects from mind, mind from intellect.

and intellect from ego;


Ego from Soul and Soul from God.

God is the first cause and last refuge.


God, the hidden Soul in everyone

does not shine forth. God is revealed only

to those who keep their mind one-pointed,

fixed on the Lord of Love and thus develop

an intuitive knowing.


Meditation enables them to go deeper

and deeper into the spiritual dimension,

from the world of words to the world of thoughts,

then beyond thoughts to wisdom of Soul.


Get up! Wake up! Seek the guidance of

illumined teachers and realize the Soul within.

Sharp like a razor’s edge, the wise ones say,

this path and difficult to traverse.



God is beyond name and form,

beyond the senses, inexhaustible,

without beginning, without end, beyond

time, space, and causality. Eternal,

immutable. Those who realize the Soul as God

are forever free from the jaws of death

and live in the kingdom of heaven even on earth.




The wise, who gain experiential knowledge

of this timeless tale attain the glory

of living in spiritual awareness and divine union.

Those who, full of devotion, recite this

supreme truth at a spiritual

gathering, are fit for eternal life.

They are indeed fit for eternal life.
















The Angel of death continues:


The ever-present Lord pierced the senses and

they turned outward. Thus we look to the world

outside and see not the Soul within us.

A saint is one who withdrew his senses from the world

of change and looked within, sought immortality,

and beheld the deathless Soul, the living God.


The ignorant run after sense pleasures

and fall into the widespread net of death.

but the wise know the Soul as deathless,

and know the changeless in the world of change.


That through which one enjoys form, taste, smell, sound,

touch, and sexual union is God.

Can there be anything not known to That,

which is the One in all? Know One, know all.


That through which one enjoys the waking

and sleeping states is the Soul. To know the Soul

as God is to go beyond sorrow.





Those who know the Soul as enjoyer

of the honey from the flowers of the senses,

ever present within, ruler of time,

go beyond fear. For God is supreme!


The Creator, God-

unBorn –known through deep communion &

abiding contemplation was before the waters of life

were created. THEE stands in the heart of every creature.

For God is supreme!


God, the Great Cause of all energy,

pure vitality- and Father of all the cosmic forces

He stands in the heart of every creature,

He Is indeed the Soul of all. For God is supreme!


God, hidden in the inner recesses of Soul

like a child well protected

in the mother’s womb, whom we adore

every day in contemplation. He

is the Soul of all. For God is supreme!


That which is the source of the sun

and of every power in the cosmos, beyond which

there is neither coming nor going,

is God indeed. For God is supreme!




What is here is also there; what is there,

also here. One who sees multiplicity

but not the one indivisible God

must wander on and on from death to death.


Only the one-pointed mind attains

this state of unity. There is no one

but God. He who sees multiplicity

but not the one indivisible God

must wander on and on from death to death.


God, the pure Soul enshrined in all hearts,

ruler of time, past and future,

to feel That presence is to go beyond all fear.

That is indeed divine sight. For God is supreme!


God, a flame without smoke,

ruler of time, past and future,

the same on this day as on tomorrow,

Almighty indeed. For God is supreme!


As the rain on a mountain peak runs off

the slopes on all sides, so those who see

only the seeming multiplicity of life

run after things on every side.





As pure water poured into pure water

becomes the very same, so does the Soul

of the illumined man or woman, John,

become one with God.




All that is holy is

ruled by the unborn God,

whose light forever shines. They go beyond

sorrow those who live in abiding contemplation of God.

They are freed from the cycle of birth and death.

For God is supreme!


The Lord is the sun shining in the sky,

The wind blowing in space; the fire

at the altar and in the home the guest;

dwelling in human beings, in angels, in truth,

and throughout the vast earth, in the fish

born in water, the plant growing in soil, and

the river flowing down from the mountain.

For God is supreme!


The adorable one who is seated

In the heart rules the breath of life.

Unto God all the senses pay their homage.




When the Soul in the body breaks out

in freedom from the bonds of flesh, what remains?

For God is supreme!


We live not by the breath that flows in

and flows out, but by That which causes the breath

to flow in and flow out.


Now, O John, I will tell you

of the unseen, eternal Lord, and


What befalls the Soul after death. Of those

unaware of the Soul, some are born as

embodied creatures while others remain

in a lower stage of evolution,

as determined by their own need for growth.


That which is awake even in our sleep,

giving form in dreams to the objects of

sense craving, that indeed is pure light,

God the immortal, who contains all

the cosmos, and beyond whom none can go.

For God is supreme!


As the same fire assumes many shapes

when it consumes objects differing in shape,

so does the Lord take the shape

Of every creature.


As the same air assumes different shapes

when it enters objects differing in shape,

so does the Lord take the shape

Of every creature.


As the sun, the eye of the world,

cannot be tainted by the defects in our eyes

or by the objects it looks on,

so the Lord, dwelling in all, cannot

be tainted by the evils of the world.

For God transcends all!


The ruler supreme, inner Soul of all,

multiplies oneness into many.

Eternal joy is theirs who see the Soul

in their own hearts. To none else does it come!


Changeless amidst the things that pass away,

The living Truth in all who are conscious,

That Eternal One answers the prayers of many.

Divine peace is theirs who see the Soul

in their own hearts. To none else does it come!


JOHN asks:


How can I know that blissful Lord, supreme,

inexpressible, realized by the wise?

Is THEE light, or does THEE reflect light?


The Angel of death said:


There shines not the sun, neither moon nor star

nor flash of lightning, nor fire lit on earth.

The Lord is the light reflected by all.

Forever shining, everything shines.




The Tree of Eternity has its roots above

and its branches on earth below.

Its pure root is God the immortal

from whom all the worlds draw their life, and whom

none can transcend. For God is supreme!


The cosmos comes forth from God and moves all.

That power reverberates like thunder crashing in the

sky. Those who realize IT pass beyond the sway of death.


Because of the Lord- fire burns, because of God

the sun shines, the clouds rain, and the winds blow.

Because of Him death stalks about.


If one fails to realize God in this life

before the physical sheath is shed,

he must again put on a body

in the world of embodied creatures.



God can be seen, as in a mirror

in a pure heart; in the world of the ancestors

as in a dream; in the celestials

as the reflections in trembling waters;

and clear as light in the realm of God.


Knowing the senses to be separate

from the Soul, and the sense experience

to be fleeting, the wise grieve no more.


Above the senses is the mind,

above the mind is the intellect,

above that is the ego, and above the ego

is the unmanifested Cause.


And beyond that is the Lord, always present, all powerful

and all-seeing. Realizing God, the Soul of all,

one is released from the cycle of birth and death.


The Soul is formless, and can never be seen

with these two eyes. But is revealed in the

heart made pure through meditation, contemplation

and sense-restraint. Realizing God one is released

from the cycle of birth and death.


When the five senses are stilled, when the mind

is stilled, when the intellect is stilled,

that is called divine communion.


They say in complete stillness

one enters the unitive state,

never to become separate again.

If one is not established in pure stillness,

the sense of unity will come and go.


The unitive state, Soul-recognition, cannot be attained

through words or thoughts or through human eyes.

How can it be attained except through one

who is established in God-communion?


There appear to be two selves, the separate ego

and the indivisible Soul. When one rises above I and me and mine,

the Soul is revealed as one with God.


When all desires that surge in the heart

are renounced, the mortal becomes immortal.


When all psychic knots that strangle the heart

are scorched, the mortal becomes immortal.

This sums up the teaching of the scriptures.


The heart radiates in a hundred

directions. One who is attuned to the Soul

is always led to immortality in the Lord.





The Lord of Love is ever enshrined

in the hearts of all.

Draw him clear out of that physical sheath, which

we call the body, by divine communion.

Know thyself to be pure and immortal!

Know thyself to be pure and immortal!




John learned from the Angel of death

the whole discipline of meditation & contemplation.

Freeing himself from all separateness,

he won immortality in God, so blessed

is everyone who knows the Supreme Soul of all!



May God protect us! May God bestow upon us the fruit of KNOWLEDGE! May we obtain the energy to acquire KNOWLEDGE! May what we study reveal the Truth! May we cherish no ill feeling toward anyone! AMEN, PEACE, PEACE, PEACE!

“You know so much about health and healing. Start blogging again!” With those words from a dear heart friend, I start again.

I must confess that to be undergoing a chronic illness and attempting to educated others on health and healing is a bit like an overweight doctor trying to help you lose weight. So at times, I pull back, get still, listen and let things settle.

In truth, I am well-(what I really am) now, and have always been well. Even the body is being restored every instant by a vast array of cellular processes that stem from the Almighty Source.

In the last months, I have been rebuilding the adrenals and restoring the digestive system. My intuitive sense of the two biggest factors (physically) related to the increase in my vitality and health, are: Fresh-pressed celery juice first thing every am –aimed at restoring the digestive processes. And… the elimination of caffeine, in my case 5 cups of green tea a day at times–with the idea that I needed it just to continue living.

This elimination of caffeine and regular intake of celery juice, has increased the natural sodium levels, increased anti-inflammatory elements, added powerful enzymes that catalyze and optimize all body processes while starving toxic elements being harbored in the body. This has allowed me to recover from adrenal exhaustion (which is ongoing) in the last months for which I am grateful.

Of course, seeing myself as I really am, not a body,  not a mind, but the living awareness of Consciousness is truly the biggest factor in recovering true wellness. This required a doubling down on sincerity. I had to be even more earnest, enough to see where I was still believing limited thoughts. This investigation-inquiry-journey becomes more and more subtle as you deepen on the spiritual path.

As I wrote about some years ago in a blog on Mount Shasta, so much of the last 15 years has been spent on negating all that is not real. Now I am embracing all that is, as God, as Consciousness, as the Ultimate Reality. All the negation has allowed a stabilization in the Divine Current, the Eternal Presence. Now I am seeing from a grounded place and witnessing the ‘other side of the coin’. ‘I am nothing’ has turned into “I am everything’.

Unless there had been the years of stabilization into the nothing, the mind may well have sprung up into grandiosity on the ‘I am everything’ frontier. That cannot happen hear. Too much humbling has occurred. So now I am writing again and will continue to share any ‘pearls’ that appear before me in hopes that all who read this may benefit at some level.



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