Most people in life you see, meet or connect with only once. We are truly graced when these encounters are full of love and blessings.
Such was the case when I had a phone conversation with Paul Gorman about a decade ago. At that time, I had been undergoing a chronic illness for over half a year and was looking for a brother to reflect the truth to me. A friend mentioned Paul Gorman, saying he was a grounded, yet mystical man. He was living in England then and freely offering to talk with anyone interested in living a more liberated life.
Paul passed away into the Great Beyond on September 8th 2019. In honor of his passing, I share a transcript of our dialogue from about ten years ago. At the time, I did not realize that Paul was undergoing a chronic health situation. Here is the transcript of that conversation, the only one I ever had with Paul:
…Providence connected us. He did not charge any money, had no biography available, nor did he have any list of achievements or prestigious teachers he had studied with. He did have a phone number and a small website called Miracle Self.
“Michael,” (the voice on the other end of the line was buoyant, animated, filled with a forceful purity) “good…is it morning or afternoon?”
“Oh, it’s morning.”
“Good morning to you,” he said before continuing. “Now, how can I be a blessing to you?”
I smiled. “I like that. Well, I don’t want to talk about the story of the illness that has been going on, but right now it feels, and over the last few days, as if a fire has been turned on, I don’t know, maybe some psychological rubbish is melting away that has been involved in this whole process. My body is still going through some of its purification, detoxification, rearranging, maybe some component of it is related to just being on the conscious spiritual path. My doctors haven’t come up with anything really convincing, mercury poisoning, maybe Lyme disease, so much stuff has been thrown—and it’s all speculative. I don’t know…” I stopped.
“What happens when we awaken is that everything that’s been suppressed by the mind starts flushing out. It’s very common and the body goes through all kinds of…” Paul’s voice paused for an instant before moving on. “I’ve known it to go through disease; I’ve known it to have all kinds of illnesses, emotional instability, and so on. All of it is the flushing out, and when we know that, we don’t need to worry about it and can stay with Spirit. Very quickly we find the body is harmonious, but if we worry about it, if we don’t know what’s happening, then of course we hold on to it because it’s in consciousness, and as we hold on to these things in consciousness, we cement them in place, you know in our experience. The key is to know what is happening and rise above it and stay with truth and very quickly you’ll discover that it flushes out and reveals a harmonious body.” His British accent added a feeling of authority to what he was saying.
“Yeah, and that’s the thing, there’s that yo-yo process, there’s a time when that feels like that’s exactly what is happening and it almost seems like there is complete wellness here at every level,” I responded.
“Well in truth, which is in actuality, with a capital A, there is nothing but wellness, nothing but perfection, there is the Divine right there, and I’m talking literally, but, as you say, it is only when we yo-yo into worrying about being concerned or paying attention to what appears to be happening that we hold it in place or hold that appearance in place that appears physical, but when we know what it is, we can let go and stay with truth and let that truth reveal itself. This process doesn’t need any help from us, of course. Let that truth reveal itself, then very quickly these things appear harmonious.”
“But we do have to know the truth of the body. In other words, it is not enough just to sit in silence. This is showing up now with those who have let’s say only been in silence, which is a beautiful thing, but we have to know the truth of the body and indeed of the world in order for that harmony to be present in the body and the world. So maybe that is the only missing element here. Do you think so or…?
“Oh yeah, it feels true because of what came in. I was telling you the other day on email, there wasn’t a doubt that wellness was here, and the body just seemed like it was doing its dance, but the mind was interpreting things going on with the body as something problematic,” I admitted.
“The truth of the body and the truth of the world is that actually there is nothing wrong with either. The divine body is the only body there is. We can hold this as a truth in our collective consciousness. That’s where the problem seems to be. It’s not actually in the body; it’s in our concept of the body. Now if you read the first six lines of the Dhammapada, a collection of essays by the Buddha, that secret is revealed right there. The problem doesn’t lie in the world or the body—they’re perfect, they’re paradise—but in our concepts of the world and the body. So there is no error in the external. No error in the body. There is only error as concept in here, the mind. Now we’ve got a different situation and a completely different way of dealing with it.”
“Yeah, well it’s the whole thing of the mind trying to get in there and manage the body. It’s a disaster…” I said.
“Oh, a complete disaster,” he concurred. “However, the body is under the total government of the Divine. It is an expression of the Divine under the total government of the Divine. Which means it’s always perfect.”
“It’s limitless, boundless, perfect, beauty, infinite actually, not finite—it’s individual certainly but not limited in any way. So therefore what do we do about it? First of all, we recognize that the body is only our concepts about it. Well, it’s as if we are looking out the window at a beautiful vista and we painted that window with black paint and so now we can’t really see very much at all. It looks ugly and dark and on and on. So what is the problem? Is the problem that the body is ugly and dark? No, there really is no problem, because all we have to do is clean the windows. When we realize this, we can rest at ease, knowing that the body here and now is in its perfect state of freedom, joy, and harmony, and that all we need to do is rest in that awareness, knowing that it is Spirit that clears our conceptual apparatus and we don’t have to do a thing.”
“Right.” I breathed a deep sigh, taking in that understanding on a deeper level than I ever had before.
“And when we know that and rest in that awareness then we experience the truth of the body.”
“Yeaaahhh,” I said. “There’s still just a little bit of yo-yoing with that, though, like there are times when that is grokked really deeply, and then all of a sudden, there’s this denial of the whole thing…like that can’t be true.”
“That’s the experience of—”
“Yeah, the experience of that.”
“And the solution is to fill the mind with truth. In other words, all that’s happening is that collective consciousness is hitting us at our weakest point and suggesting that ‘this is garbage, that actually the body is in trouble, and blah, blah, blah.’ The way to deal with that is to fill the mind with truth. I am the life; there’s nothing here but the one life. The one life, God-Spirit-Consciousness, is infinite and fills all space and is therefore all being, all life, all things. So it is only the conceptual mind that makes the body appear as a finite material thing when actually it is divine.”
“And as we fill our mind with that truth, that then lifts the mind back up into a state of restfulness and peace, in which we can then be silent and let the truth pour through. And that truth pouring through is typically experienced as peace, warmth, or light, or a release from the apparent problem, however it is felt within, and that is what clears the concepts and reveals the truth.”
“Yeah, and there’s the seeing that nothing is really happening here, the whole non-reality of the concepts and the ideas—like all of a sudden they’re gone.”
“Exactly, exactly. Now, if you really keep the mind filled with the truth all day long, all night, apart from when you are sleeping, and in between when you have silence, then anyone on their own can be rid of problems with the body, problems with the world,” he concluded.
Thank you Paul for being a beautiful reflection. Your books and teachings have helped many people to deepen into the Miracle Self.