Welcome to the Space that always is…

Archive for October, 2015


Recently I watched the History Channel Documentary ‘Alcatraz: The Search For the Truth’- a revelatory show about the infamous 1962 escape attempt. It revealed new information about what really happened that day and spurred memories of my first journey to Alcatraz.

When I was a teenager in the mid to late 1970’s, our family went on the first of many tours to Alcatraz island (we went many times, as different relatives from back east arrived—as part of San Francisco’s ‘can’t miss’ excursions).

I vividly remember one particular aspect of that first visit. Our knowledgeable guide solicited volunteers, those willing to be locked up in solitary confinement. My hand instantly went up and I was one of 3 people chosen to ‘endure a tiny glimpse of what it must have been like’.

In most prison movies, at least one scene portrays the ‘bad guy” -or good guy wrongly incarcerated- getting moved into the dreaded hole, aka= solitary confinement.

I spent 1 full minute in that dark, cramped and dank cell. The first thirty seconds I literally held my breath as a hundred different scenarios shot from my head. The next ten seconds I spent wondering if rats or other critters were crawling on me, and the final 20 seconds the pure horror of wondering if the cell door was broken because I had certainly been locked inside at least 5 minutes already! I sprang out of that hole like an Olympic 100 Meter dash runner. It was amazing to witness how much ruckus the mind can stir up in 60 seconds.

Today, if I had a chance to sit in solitary confinement at Alcatraz again, the physical discomforts of a long sojourn there would certainly be less than thrilling but I would revel in the silence. And silence is available wherever we are. It is our closest companion, most intimate friend.

In a world gone obnoxious with ever-increasing mixtures of loud, jagged noise disguised as entertainment, many have lost the ability to tune into the stillness that is a precursor to real sanity.

Yet, silence and stillness are always available. The breath is one doorway leading to a different type of incarceration. This type of convict, enraptured in the vital force, is not the least bit stirred by outer circumstances. They know the truth of being and are happy to rest in that all-pervading peace.


My dear friend Jack, aged 92 is one of those human beings with a piercing presence.Whenever I arrive, no matter how tired he is, with gusto Jack pushes himself to standing from his chair or bed. Always he embraces me with a big hug. Then with his strong hands still gripping the sides of my upper arms, he smiles deeply, looking into my eyes with such intensity. Love and compassion shine through. Jack says hello and goodbye the same way.

Jack and I first met nearly 4 years ago. My end of life client and friend Muriel was wanting to explore other options related to a longstanding illness. She sent me to find out about “the helium”-from her acquaintance- Jack.

Jack, as it turns out, use to go to the Hemlock Society meetings and was aware of the helium method for ‘self-deliverance’ -sometimes erroneously called ‘assisted suicide’.

“It is so effortless and easy. There is no reason for anyone to suffer on for months and years once their quality of life has gone.” Jack informed me that first day we met. He went on to explain the science behind the method, the ease of application and the peace surrounding those using helium to quietly and painlessly leave the earthly sojourn. Jack described one woman’s effortless passage:

“She was sitting in her chair, put her hood on and then turned on the gas valve. Suddenly she exclaimed with much enthusiasm: ‘Oh look, the bird has returned to its nest!’ and then she passed out, dying minutes later with a contented smile etched across her face.”

Jack and I share a beautiful soul connection and spiritual recognition that defies any category.

A bazooka man in world war 2, Jack, after a particular battle, was awarded the Navy Cross. Originally put in for a Silver Star, his medal was upgraded.

Two men normally ‘man’ a bazooka. Jack’s partner, the ammo loader, ran off when incoming tanks were spotted coming right for his division. Jack was forced to handle the loading himself. He took down two of the three tanks and saved his comrads. Over the last three plus years, I have literally had to drag aspects of this story from Jack.

Jack has shared much with me in the area of Science, Religion, near death experience and Non Dual spirituality.

Thanks Jack for being such a bright light and friend on this brief earthly dance.

*Here is the link to Jack’s Navy Cross


The Planetary Poisoning…

While undergoing a chronic illness, I often spent long hours in meditative inquiry, pointed towards the deepest spiritual truth:

What we really are is Eternal Spirit.

I also remained in the sedentary position in front of the computer researching the truth about planetary toxicity especially as it relates to human health. Most people in the United States have no idea what is taking place. Americans are in the dark because they are so busy in their day to day lives.

In our world today human beings and all earth’s inhabitants are being forced to cope with and adapt to more and more deadly poisons. Never before has the earth been bombarded with a systematic and unrelenting barrage of toxicity. There is the ever increasing exposure to nuclear facility fallout from Fukushima, Chernobyl and elsewhere, in the form of: plutonium, cesium, radioactive iodine and all the others atomic agents- as well as a large influx of electromagnetic disturbance from endless tech gadgets and the old mind-control staple—the television.

Add to this mix, chemical pollutants and toxins, some purposefully put inside the body for centuries and referred to as ‘inert’ and safe restorative agents’—like amalgam fillings full of mercury and other body-toxic metals & so called food additives—poisonous, cheap ‘flavor-enhancers and preservatives’ recklessly approved as ‘fit for human consumption’.

And of course there are the genetically modified organisms which are slowly taking over the food supply. Our water is growing polluted with industrial runoff and indiscriminent dumping of garbage, while we continue to be exposed to sterilization with neurotoxic elements like: fluoride & chlorine.   Toxic substances are injected into our blood streams ‘in order to keep us from getting sick’-we are told. They are laced with mercury and poisonous substances in ‘free’ flu shots, put in the ‘childhood vaccines’-. Which are now beginning to be forced on the populace after SB 277 passed (the mandatory vaccine bill). These nearly untraceable ‘patented’ disease causing agents are required and advertised as essential health care aids.

Aerial spraying (Chemtrails loaded with toxic contaminants which include barium and aluminum) are being unleashed, both in the stratosphere and over our food crops and places of dwelling, containing not only some of the most toxic chemicals and metals on earth but disease vectors, mutated ticks carrying genetically modified forms of pleomorphic organisms. Our primary staple food, wheat. is chemically engineered with sodium azide and now grows as a dwarf sub-species that does not even remotely resemble the traditional grain (not to mention the fact that glyphosate, used readily in the Monsanto poison ‘Roundup” is the primary drying agent after the wheat has been harvested). There is no other purpose to these practices but to sicken the human race.

Part of this global geoengineering project (weather manipulation) include instruments like HAARP put in place to control the entire planet via shortages of food and water. All of this is no longer debatable- it is fact.

It is the great Eugenics experiment. A small group who possess vast monetary fortunes are no longer playing ‘kick the can’ just for fun, instead it is ‘kill the man’ –with a plan to drop the population from 7 billion to 500 million—while slowly (via chronic illness) and quickly via weather manipulation (causing earthquakes, etc) shortening the lives of most of us but not before extracting the ill person’s remaining financial resources. This money is funneled into the coffers of a small group of Global Elitists.

We still have whole foods, organic foods and high grade supplements that can help us restore our health even though many of the authentic supplement companies are being harassed and threatened by the large corporate run, chemical companies who are monopolizing the health supplement industry by adding synthetic (chemical) additives to these products. More and more of the legitimate companies are being bought by chemical conglomerates, raided by the FDA under false pretense ‘protecting the public from so called health fraud’ or if that fails, those revolutionary MD’s, Naturopaths and alternative health practitioners who discover natural and innovative ways to combat diseases like cancer are being covertly killed.

Now the authentic supplement companies are being forced to put their supplies through more and more testing with the idea to drive the prices to high that the average American will not be able to afford them. Fortunately there are still physicians and whole food supplement companies that are working for the benefit of all mankind.

This is good to know, so we can make the most sane choices available while understanding that we are the witness to all of this. At the deepest level it does not touch what we really are.

Reflecting the Heart

True Caring does not require education. In fact, caring, cannot be taught, only awakened inside the heart. One must step out of their personal idea of ‘me’ and ‘mine’ and this happens when we become disinterested in the fabrications and stories of the mind. It requires diligence, sincerity and immense earnestness.

The language of the heart has always been alive within me. Of course, during the life journey many layers of conditioning had to be uncovered and owned, acknowledged, revealed and released. I found that the more I tuned into the heart, though, the less the conditioning froth infused my life with guilt, blame, hatred, judgement, criticism or condemnation.

And yet, life is magically orchestrated in a way that enables us to move through conditioning. Family members can help us to see our most recalcitrant pseudo narratives (aka- bullshit stories we tell ourselves to justify a position).

One of my favorite ‘spiritual dudes’ is Ram Dass. He is down to earth, real, funny, amazingly deep and boy does his heart shine. After a very intense stroke about 15 years ago, an even deeper heart quality began to emerge from within him. When you watch Ram Dass on video now, tears may well up inside because his heart expression is so touching.

Years ago I heard an audio tape and Ram Dass said these words:

“If you think you’re enlightened go spend a week with your family.”

No one can ‘get my goat’ like my sister Cheri. It still happens occasionally. And as the famous author of “Autobiography of a Yogi’ once said:

“Never let anyone get your goat; your goat is your peace.” In truth, no one can touch inherent peace within unless we give them permission by believing that something they do or say relates to us. It is only when we get pulled into assuming an identity that peace appears to be extracted from us.

Cheri, my beloved sister, is two years my junior. She has been my greatest teacher and guru.

When I was four years old, though memory forgets the infuriating factor, little two year old Cheri, while be chased by yours truly, tripped and hit her head on the corner of the TV. Stitches for Cheri, Michael turns into bad guy.

The teen years were a relentless battle almost from the minute we got in the car all the way to school. In the decades that followed, things settled a bit, maturity maybe, spiritual insight, okay sure. Yet we still had our tangles to unwind.

Fortunately I have seen the immensity of Cheri’s heart up close. An amazing softness and tenderness is encapsulated there. I know the incredible depth of her pain as well. Her suffering is buried deep; she is completely unconscious of it. Her suffering is my suffering. As I have continued to uncover my own deepest pain, along with the patterns of protection bypassing feelings, the anger, sadness and depression that were so much a part of the journey dissipated and have allowed me to feel the pain of others.

Cheri, thanks for helping me to uncover the places that cut me off from my heart center. You are a true teacher and a blessing in my life. I love you dearly and wish that you will be free from suffering.

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