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Archive for November, 2013

The Invisible *Asterisk

I love it when people speak the truth. Recently I received a response referencing my last blog entry, entitled: Prompted.

The woman who wrote to me, a writing friend, thought I was either speaking ‘tongue and cheek’, was ‘delusional’, or was ‘idealizing women’. She went on to say that I needed to have ‘eyes wide open’ and finished by saying that she felt men were more compassionate. She was principally referring to this section of that blog entry:

“… There is no posturing, teasing, passive-aggression, sarcasm and certainly no jockeying for ‘top dog’ -as is common in many male-dominated groups…”

I told her she may be right about my ‘delusional-idealization of women’ status and in all fairness to men, I have not been to a conscious men’s only group in many years, so I am speaking more from distant past experience—which is certainly delusional. 

So, men, I invite you to prove me wrong. I love being wrong. I have no need to be right.

From now on, please realize the following disclaimer is attached to all blog entries. It is being adhered with an invisible*asterisk. (I do not claim to have all the answers, to be liberated, realized or any such things. We all live in our own worlds).


Last night I went to a writer’s gathering at this cool tea shop called “The Abbey’-thusly named by its affiliated, neighboring, and some might say: ‘hip church’. The facilitator of the group, Lisa, started a MeetUP entitled: ‘Radical Wellness’ and she incorporates many elements under the heading from meditation hikes, making art, running, bike riding, eating wholesome food, being in the redwoods, writing into her community building ‘radical wellness’.

We settled in and once again I found myself the only guy in group of women. How cool is that?! Way cool. Women share their heart so easily. They live from it, are in tune with it and reflect those qualities outward for all to share. I felt so comfortable right away. There is no posturing, teasing, passive-aggression, sarcasm and certainly no jockeying for ‘top dog’ -as is common in many male-dominated groups. So I played the lucky guy with nothing to do, just to be in the presence, the heart fullness.

Soon we were free-writing to prompts–given 8 minutes to let the pen romp. The prompt came: ‘I Come From…‘—and the following writing came:

     “I come from a place mysterious- the deep, watery depths. It is so alive and still, flowing. Certainly not stagnant and dead. And as I emerge into ‘this world’, it is so loud that at times I feel overwhelmed with the jumble of noises and yet unlike other times when I have surfaced into this world, only to immediately re-submerge, this time I’m staying no matter how uncomfortable I feel or how vulnerable or unnerving the circumstances. This time I’m here to stay and share that deep light from the water depths of darkness. Some may not be ready for this new light, others may fight it, maybe a few will embrace it and see that the light I carry is nothing to be afraid of. This light is totally harmless, it is for all, a beneficial beam that I will not turn off, cannot turn off, will not turn way from–come what may.

So I enter completely unknown territory. What’s new in that? Isn’t life always unknown and is it not all inside me, all of it?! Simultaneously life touches me at the core and flows by like a breeze.

So I am here to stay. I come from a place that never changes, always shines, only the passing show dances by. Let it keep coming. Nothing need be changed, nothing rejected or run from. Freedom is in these waters and it must be shared.

Walking on Water…


Today while walking in the glorious 70 degree temps after a powerful Skype with a dear friend, I found myself experiencing directly what I can only call:  ‘walking on water’. It was like suddenly there was this felt sense of what that really was. The famous metaphor came into memory and chills arrived with such force. I was feeling, truly what the followers of Jesus must have been pointing to when they used that phrase, and glimpsed the “Space” from which Jesus must have felt, knew, experienced, and realized.

The quote, often attributed to the followers of Jesus, was now alive in me. The insight came through unasked, that Jesus was not strictly, literally speaking, performing a miraculous walking on water, defying gravity and all of that. The miraculous ‘walking on water’ was simply a metaphor used by those who witnessed Jesus walking in such a powerful state of Awakeness– so deep and abiding– that it was as if ‘he’ was walking on water. The word ‘walking’ signified a movement in higher consciousness, a deeper state of spiritual realization; that in fact ‘he, Jesus’ was watching the body walk and that witnessing consciousness was an elevated awareness which put him above the material realm, where miracles happen but are not really miracles. As seen from that elevated ‘place’ they are normal, every day, every minute, every second happenings and unfoldings–because all is so alive in that ‘place’.

Then it came in that even the famous ‘Lazarus come forth’ statement attributed directly to Jesus, the so called miracle of bringing the dead Lazarus back, even that was really (not literally bringing Lazarus back–the dead physical body) but actually Jesus was summoning forth and recognizing the deathless reality which animates all bodies and the body form of Lazarus (you could say holy spirit or that which never dies). Lazarus may well have been ‘metaphorically dead’ because he was absorbed in the mind (in unreality) and now he has come back, stepped back into the Reality which Jesus was mirroring and exhorting from.

Lazarus’s association with Christ Consciousness, in which Jesus was fully immersed, showed him (Lazarus) his own inherent divinity. When Jesus said “Lazarus come forth” and Lazarus rose to his feet. He was no longer Lazarus (identified with the body form) -it was Lazarus now merged and realized as the True Self.

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