Illness puts you on a forced yoga retreat. In this case, the ashram is your bed; the prescribed postures are: shavasana, shavasana and shavasana. Assume the corpse pose, die before you die and all of that.
Can you breathe deeply and enjoy your dilapidated limbs, the exhausted heart, the overworked brain and just let the body be!? There is no separate entity that needs to identify with or monitor the working of the body. Illness only requires one thing: REST. In chronic illness, that one thing asks you to let go of your management position. You have been permanently laid off, fired from your post. This will ensure that the body receives the best possible care (and with you gone, it will). Start by taking several days off. Extend your vacation a few weeks. Eventually you’ll discover that the Big Guy Superintendent does a much better job.
Just in case this blog does not put you on permanent vacation from the pseudo-management job, the recurring dis-ease will at least keep things interesting.