In the little known 1981 Charles Bronson film ‘Death Hunt’, not to be confused with his ‘Death Wish’ movies, two mountain men are in a fight. One says to the other:
“You’re so dumb I could sell you dirt.” Well I just bought some dirt. It’s called Diatomaceous Earth. Hell, I’ve tried every other supplement known to man. If it was good enough for my cromangnum brothers, it’s good enough for me. Inject Sam Elliot’s voice here:
“Dirt, it’s what’s for dinner.” Is there anything better than the latest supplement arriving?! Great expectations, dirt stuffed into a jar, stuffed into a box, stuffed into a post office mental container- my latest salvation device is here.
I’ve come along way on this healing journey. Read: nowhere. Haven’t moved an inch. Sitting in the same spot, searching for that elusive fix-it pill. I was grateful to receive my dirt.
After spending two hours with my three year old grandson Peyton this morning, I need some kind of revival agent. The nap of the dead that I just awoke from, replete with drool, painted me into the mattress. These naps have become my specialty. When my daughter was three we use to have ‘nap wars’ after my 12 hour shift at work, wherein a wrestling match would occur on the bed. I would try to get her into some kind of sleep-inducing posture while she would try to pull me up from bed so we could go to the park. It was a titanic struggle. Well today, the little man done whooped my ass. Let’s get back to the dirt.
Diatomaceous Earth, famous as a dog deworming agent, supposedly a fabulous heavy metal chelator, safe for humans. It was cheap too. Really, I spent 18 dollars on two 12 ounce plastic (which probably leeches into the dirt) jars of dirt- plus eight dollars shipping. I could have sifted through the deer droppings in my backyard I suppose but I am too tired. The dosage recommended is two tablespoons a day for two months and I will be as good as new. If any nasty critters or their hatchlings arrive during that time. Goners. Yep, that’s right, say goodbye to Chonic Fatigue Syndrome (err, I mean Prolonged Stillness Therapy). Poof. Really–“Diatomaceous earth (DE) has been reported in the scientific literature to absorb methyl mercury, E. coli, endotoxins, viruses (including poliovirus), organophosphate pesticide residues, drug residues, and protein, perhaps even the proteinaceous toxins produced by some intestinal infections. . .”
Diatomaceous Earth is essential made up the mineral Silica and a few other trace minerals–the stuff looks like dirt okay. I will pretend that when I take my evening dose I am downing a mudslide at cocktail hour.