It happens so quickly, a spiritualized movement of energy slides in and usurps authentic expression. Various feelings of overwhelm flow up and get segued into the mind as confusion. A sophisticated albeit unconscious resistance pattern shuffles our feelings into some holding tank because ‘now is not the time’.
The so called ‘spiritual’ gatherings are inherently ripe for truth to be co-opted by this unconscious reflex action. Almost everyone comes to these gatherings with their frosty smiles pasted on. No one wants to show that they are human, that they may be going through immense suffering or be identified with the mind. Often these events are full of spiritual platitudes. Everyone is bathing in the sweet energy streams, but often there is a feeling of underlying tension: this pretending is really a kind of sickness.
What we long for is to let down the guard and be really real. No one wants to appear less than spiritual though, like they might lose some placement in the spiritual awakening chart. No one wants to be demoted in status. After all many of these people have Sanskrit spiritual names that translate to: Peace, Love, Truth and Liberation. This puts them on a pedestal from which they are not apt to ‘descend’ from. Their spiritual status must be upheld at all costs. And this goes directly against natural and spontaneous energy expression.
Many people who come to these gatherings don’t want to show their feelings, to appear weak, to express anger, show sadness, and display anything other than their perfected beingness—less their credentials fall in the eyes of their fellow brethren. To take the mask off, to expose oneself in all humanity at one of these gatherings, is a death of sorts.
The reality is, deep down, whenever we watch someone stand up and tell the truth (not just share some spiritualized story), that is, burn in all their humanness, almost everyone at the gathering is simultaneously and profoundly touched yet horrified. They are touched because they so desperately want to be that free; they are horrified because they visualize themselves as a ‘me’ frying in shame in that situation. Even though they intuit that there is no ‘me’.
So for once, do yourself a favor and be so vulnerable and sincere that you are willing to stand before ‘the teacher’ and all the ‘students’ and unmask yourself completely.