Welcome to the Space that always is…

Home Space…

Over the last five years I have lived on Alba Road, one of the steepest roads in Santa Cruz County. Four miles long and averaging an eleven percent gradient, Alba rises up out of the town of Ben Lomond, California (10 miles east of Davenport and 10 miles south of Santa Cruz).

Several years ago, I attended a yoga class with Sharre Young (Kamala Devi) a teacher in the nearby town of Felton. After class, we shared a little about the life journey. I mentioned a chronic illness that I had been dealing with and told her that Alba Road was my home space. A bright smile lit up her face and she said:

“That area has great Vastu. It is a perfect place for you to be during your recovery phase.”

“What is Vastu?” I asked.

“Vastu is similar to Feng Shui and living in an area of good Vastu is very healing. It is a positive vibration area that promotes harmony with nature.” I never asked Sharre about why Alba had some kind of special Vastu because I already intuitively knew it to be true.

Then, a few days ago, I read an excellent article in the local Good Times weekly (Hippiedom Revisited–about the Summer of Love in 1967 by Christina Waters). While reading the article, I came across a quote taken from Inside a Hippie Commune by Holly Harmon:

“There was alot of spirituality up and down Alba Road, an a hip scene in this vortex-Ben Lomond, La Honda and Santa Cruz.” This book, along with another, Hip Santa Cruz by Ralph Abraham may well have additional specifics regarding Alba but I have not read them yet.

In spiritual lore and through direct experience many have felt the healing vibrations of a yogi’s cave, the sage’s ashram or other sacred sites. These spaces all have a common thread: a palpable presence that radiates peace.

My small room sits in the middle of a 30-acre meadow (attached to the main house with private entrance). Redwood clusters border all sides of the land, with a sprinkling of oak, madrone and pine trees mixed in. The meadow is visited by hawk, bobcat, quail and deer families and numerous jays, chicadees and other small birds.

Now I can be grateful for all the sincere spiritual aspirants, the true hippies for their earnestness and sincerity, the way they too have enriched and cultivated the beauty and power of this space. For these true hippies, to be hip meant that their primary interest was on living in harmony with nature and knowing who they really are. To be hip, was and is: to be in the Current of Reality. This makes me a Hippy for sure.

I sit by my back door, looking out from and into the meadow, through the built-in window panes, basking in the bliss of being (direct experience of God’s presence) several hours each day. Sometimes, my eyes are closed, other times not, sitting throughout in the natural state of meditation. I might chant to the Divine Mother or repeat the mantra: Om Namo Bhagavate Vashudevaya (invoking the Divine Dweller in every human heart), or read and imbibe a few spiritual pointers from my favorite Masters, like Anandamayi Ma, Nisargadatta Maharaj or Ramana Maharhshi:

“The quest after Truth and to be truthful is man’s duty. Do your utmost to remain anchored in Truth and to spend time in the contemplation of the Lord in a quiet, secluded place as long as possible.”

“Don’t consider yourself to be a body while acting in this world. Identify yourself as Consciousness, which dwells in the body. If you take yourself as the body, it means you have forgotten your true Self.”

“When meditation is well established, it cannot be given up. It will go on automatically whether engaged in work, play or enjoyment. It will persist in sleep, too. Meditation becomes so deep-rooted that it will be natural to one.”

Spiritual practice (sadhana) is my primary duty. I have not worked a normal 9-5 worldly job for two decades. (Not that I have not tried to get more work– many, many times). Though I have done a fair amount of massage therapy and end of life caregiving during that time, my current worldly task entails a once a week caregiving job and a once a month massage client (and helping my daughter with a 4 month old and 7 year old–Thanks ozone therapy:). The rest of the my job-task remains: to realize more deeply who and what I really am, to abide in and as the True Self. Then, naturally, the peace-filled cultivation within spreads to others–as we are all one.

As I sit or take care of activities of daily living, if the mind is active, there is simply watching, witnessing, until it dissipates and dissolves back into the Source. Then, what IS always already present, pure beingness and bliss, exude forth from within without effort. All else falls away of its own accord, like crumbs shaken off my sleeve.

Quantum Light Breath…

A few years back, I was introduced to the Quantum Light Breath. With my body-being craving oxygen like never before these days, and without the financial means to afford regular major autohemotherapy ozone treatments, intuition guided me to explore this amazing process work again. Listening to a CD is a little less expensive than a 1200 dollar ozone treatment.

One of the most impressive ‘side-effects’ of Quantum Light Breath is the oxygen-enhancing capabilities of deep breathing. With that oxygen comes prana, Qi, the life force energy–the essence of who and what we really are. God breathing us, revitalizing us.

The inventor of Quantum Light Breath was Jeru Kabbal. By biographical accounts, an amazing man who passed on in 2000. The last words Jeru wrote were:

“You are already that which you long to be.”

His life work was expressed in what is known as the Clarity Process, wherein Quantum Light Breath is one of the primary aspects. This Clarity work allows one to release unconscious patterns, old traumas while regaining inner peace, enhancing emotional growth, and deepening compassionate action. The foundational basics of the Jeru’s Clarity work came from Vippassana meditation, which in modern times is often referred to as ‘Insight Meditation’. This style links back 2500 years to the time of the Buddha.

My experience this week with this breathing/process work (a mixture of music, dialogue and guided breath meditation) has been subtle yet profound. How can it be both. Subtle in that no major trauma or intensity was being experienced beforehand and yet something profound was happening at a deep, inner level which has brought out an even more palpable sense of ease and peace. Some of the benefits include: cleansing body and soul, being more in the moment, strengthening the ability to heal yourslef, releasing old anxieties, anger and stress and expanding awareness.

One of the people that Jeru trained personally is Taetske Kleijn. She leads a 3- year training called Clarity Inner Core. Intuitively I feel led to undertake this training, though having no idea how I will pay for it. Though it is only about 3000 dollars initially, the cost adds up via twice annual travel to Europe for the training/retreats. First, a prerequisite is required, a week-long workshop in France in February. We shall see how life unfolds in that direction.


Ozone Update…


I have written about the amazing results from Major Autohemotherapy (Ozonated blood transfusions) several times in this blog. The  ozone initially and during treatment enhanced my vitality to a great degree.

Recently, however, a strong illness relapse has begun and interestingly I have had one spiritual buddy ask me about ozone (they were considering spending 1200 on a 10-pass treatment. “Did I think it was worth it?!” They asked.

Just before that an Indian MD contacted me, after reading my blog, and asked essentially the same thing. He noted, that he doubted that the 10-pass ozone could cure almost all chronic illnesses (which is what my doctor stated and also another ozone doctor from Austria). It sounded to good to be true–he questioned. He was right, it was.

The biggest question always pertained to: Does it last? That question, at least in my complex chronic illness case, is a very strong NO!

It is a non toxic way to restore (as long as you keep using the ozone) and maintain health but ozone did not eliminate or fully eradicate the organisms in my long-standing situation. After series of 10 treatments stopped, approximately 1 month later the organisms began to get a foothold in my system again.  All the symptoms of chronic illness have been returning with a vengeance, in the weeks that followed.

As a lifelong maintenance aid, most likely, 10-pass Major Autohemotherapy ozone treatment is one of the best non-toxic aids to restoring vitality and quality of life. So, if money is not a problem, this is the way to go for sure!

As as a cure all and full clearance healer of so many of the really nasty organisms and toxins floating through the earth’s atmosphere these days–Ozone therapy does not get the job done. Might it cure some less potent illnesses concerns and be a great aid for those who have no major illness. Almost certainly!

As with many cases where money is being made, ozone therapy was being billed by the alternative docs as a panacea and cure. I asked my doctor point blank before treatment if it was working with chronic neurolyme, nasty parasites and recalcitrant fungal inections and other difficult to treat organisms. He said, with a straight face, that it was. Telling me that people were getting long term results many months and years AFTER they stopped intensive treatment.

Yes, during the intensive ozone therapy I felt amazing. Would you spend over $ 10,000 cash (out of pocket as no insurance is accepted) on a 2 month protocol which gave me renewed physical and mental vitality for a total of 3-4 months—including the 2 months you were undergoing treatment?  This is a question only you can answer. In this case, it is surely a money issue.


Artificial Living…

Last week I was bold, a bit crazy and quite fortunate. I went to Yosemite in the summer. Yeah, I know, FN knucklehead, right?! The heat, even at 8000 feet and those RV caravans. Well, besides the relentless barrage of angry drivers racing through the park on the Tuolumne freeway, it turned out fine. I, like the next guy, have become use to the amusement park, bumper car treatment. And mosquitoes in full swarm, the size of small hummingbirds, await the hapless touristos. None of this was news to me. I was, however,  astounded by all the hantavirus pulmonary disease plague signs posted at every nook in the Park. Watch out for that flea. PLEASE!

What’s next, a vaccination station inside the park? (Incidentally, on the drive back through Oakdale in the central valley of California, I did see a sign stating:

“Rattlesnake season is here. Have you been vaccinated?” Yep, pretty soon we will have vaccine meal replacements too.)

Fortunately, I had a plan. I stayed just outside the east boundary of the park at Sawmill Campground, a walk-in campsite at 9,800 feet. It was truly amazing.

One thing I was grateful for: no cell phone coverage inside Yosemite.  Because cell phones are like pace-makers combined with a pacifier. People have no idea they are undergoing habitual, full-scale hypnotic treatment. Cell phones are the new age pacifier because like a baby being given an artificial nipple, cell phones distract one from their feelings and emotions, funneling attention into the next thing and the next. We never stop long enough to see that what we really want is what we already are: this spacious formless soul-being.

The cell phone is also like a heart pace-maker since it is meant to keep the mind active and busy, the central focus, the portal obsession which our whole world revolves around. The cell phone can hypnotize one into believing in its pseudo power. Under the influence of cell phones one falls even deeper into delusion, via the fascinating functions and textual chatter.

Artificial intelligence is not some hundred tanks set to ensure marshal law in some near off future. AI is here now; it is simply not recognized. AI is operating in an insidious fashion through our tech devices.  The newer advanced cell phone technology is perpetuating a new type of robotic human. Cell phones come with robotic-sounding names, like Android. This is no mistake. IPhone means ‘I am my phone’-one has literally identified so potently with their phone or device that they have become it.

This new breed of humans are losing touch with the subtle, the ever-present. Inner Space, palpable, alive and full of joy is being filled up, replaced with the artificial. The word artificial means: ‘not natural or real : made, produced, or done to seem like something natural’. This cyber-kinetic madness has brought about a new type of stupor. We have all seen it. The guy  walking down the beach, head cocked down, eyes being suctioned into the cell phone; a whale breaching in the background but he does not even see it. His girlfriend missed it too. They weren’t even relating at all; just forms silently walking side by side, both in their far off distance make-believe worlds. The cell phone sheath has been pulled over promising more and more colorful, albeit artificial vistas for the robotically-transfixed mind. Like their video-game predecessors, which have become more and more violent, cell phones and other portable, mobile computer devices act similarly to a drug, offering a elixer-like carrot of ecstasy. Unlike their psychedelic brethren, these mind-altering, artificial stimulants operate in stealth.

And text messaging is the 3rd largest addiction, behind only online porno and gaming. Online porno and gaming both deserve books of their own and no blog could adequately portray their damaging effects. Both inhibit one’s natural vibration, stunt creativity and numb feelings while distracting us from authentic connection and important duties.

The truth be told, if Yosemite National Park suddenly provided cell phone coverage, the death toll would rocket from 15 a year to 500. Text seems to scream at us through the little beep noise indicating a message received. This leads to more and more artificial connection, inauthentic communication. Those born after 1985, toddlers, teens and those in their 20’s have grown up in a world which is more and more reliant on cell phones. The teenagers and those in their 20’s do not even know how to have a real relationship anymore. They might not even realize that their naturalness has become blanketed in madness. As Bob Newhart said:

“With the advent of cell phones, especially with the very small microphone that attach to the cell phone itself, it’s getting harder and harder I find, to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone.”

What can be done? One must become more interested in Reality. Earnestly, relentlessly we must turn our attention towards awareness, that pulsating and radiate life force that breaths us all. This True Current allows the body to function. At any moment one can choose to be interested in the Real Current or the gadget-based artificial. It’s up to You.

A Poem…

The following poem was inspired by a series of amazing-grace moments, silent interludes and subtle interactions with a Hare Krishna Devotee who works in a bakery in Soquel, California.The simple sharing and pure beauty of this connection helped to facilitate a deeper blossoming of the bhakti (devotional nature) within my own heart. Her love and inclusiveness, embracing everything as the Self (Source) is the essence of the Hare Krishna devotional path. My own journey has been more about negating the unreal, until nothing is left but Source. And when nothing is left, the Real is there in all its glory: Love abounds. That is what this poem touches.

(Hare Krishna’s are a spiritual group who practice congregational chanting known as hari-nama sankirtan). The Hare Krishna’s gather together to chant the Holy Names of the Supreme Lord. Their primary focus is devotional and includes: hearing, chanting, remembering one’s divine nature, serving all, worshipping, praying, befriending and fully surrendering to the Supreme Being).

This poem is for Dana:


Sri Krishna’s Eyes


Innocent and gentle with Sri Krishna’s eyes,

She knows the Eternal One that never dies.

A subtle geyser running silent yet deep,

It’s Pure Bhakti-Heart which makes us weep.

Awareness, Truth & Love – we must have those,

The Essential Ground where relationship flows.

The mind, the body – this entire earth dance,

Life living us – one immense Divine glance.

Magic happens when we meet in this Space,

Present and awake— to a magnificent grace.

“Whatever comes unasked, comes from the Supreme!”

These words from the Master point to that beam.

Get still, attune to the Ever-sprouting Seed;

A brilliant Guiding Light, Fulfiller of all need.


(For those who might not be aware, Sri Krishna is considered divinity incarnate, the purity of God manifested and unadulterated as the Holy Spirit–which essentially signifies that all is One, all is Love. Krishna is like the Eastern Brother of Christ, as both beacons of light point us back to the Totality of what we are – not merely an individualized body but the vastness of Pure Consciousness).

Over the last decade of research and direct experience, I have seen a huge difference between so-called alternative, natural and holistic doctors. Most of these alternative doctors are helping people a little bit but not much. Of course without introducing a toxic array of poisons, which is better than being a mainstream Western Medicine doctor that is funneling people to the grave with their chemicals and barbaric methods. These alternative-based doctors all seem to have their trademark ‘thing’ -which they promote, like: a go-to therapy, whether it be emotionally-centered, some spiritual to-do, or herbals decoctions, homeopathic remedies or fancy tests which are worthless. These doctors can help people who are out of balance and mildly ill but they have no ability to help someone who is dealing with a serious chronic illness. Then there are holistic doctors who are using and practicing the most powerful cutting edge modalities and working with the very sick: autism, cancer, lyme disease and other serious viral illnesses and chemical poisoning.  I am fortunate to have found Doctor Robert Rowen. He is truly a pioneer and my health is continuing to reach new levels of increased vibrancy each week. It is remarkable.

Last week I watched the documentary ‘Vaxxed”. I left feeling this fierce compassion for all beings, not just the young infants undergoing the toxic vaccines and their parents but the doctors and nurses who were injecting these poor children with what they thought was a life-sustaining aid but turned out to be a poisonous cocktail meant to maim, disable and kill. These atrocities perpetrated by Big Pharma’s relentless greed also fell into my sphere of compassion albeit a bit more gradually in the days following the movie.

Last Thursday, I had my 3rd 10-Pass Ozone session. As I opened by car door to step out and walk into the Doctor Rowen’s office, I saw a family with a young boy about age 5. Immediately I recognized his autism. This was not a mild autism-spectrum disorder. This child was in a brain-trauma: full blown autism. Being just ahead of this family, I opened the office door for them. The office was jammed full of people and only 3 seats were available. Initially I sat down and then the autistic boy sat right next to me. His eyes never looked up. Not once. He was in a certain sense ‘not there’–meaning cognizant and present. His eyes were glued to an Ipad with a video game on display. I offered my seat to the mother and father. I would see them post appointment too and was grateful they had found Doctor Rowen. Perhaps Doctor Rowen would do heavy metal chelation to remove the toxic residuum from the thimerosal in the vaccines or use ozone treatments to help him purify his system. Maybe, just maybe, this young lad might one day recover part or all of his normal neurological function. That was the prayer I held in my heart.

It is an ongoing journey of incredible rejuvenation, this 10-pass Ozone. I found out that this modified Lahodny Protocol that Doctor Rowen utilizes, enables one to use far less Heparin. Instead of Heparin every pass, each alternative pass 5 grams of Vitamin C is used. The Vitamin C IV is a treatment all its own but in this case is used primarily to reduce the amount of heparin needed for the procedure.

Vitamin C research has been going on or decades. The most famous and well-known researcher was Linus Pauling, a Nobel prize winner known as the father of vitamin C therapy.

Today, IV Vitamin C is known as a powerful, non-toxic anti-cancer agent used to generate high levels of hydrogen peroxide in the bloodstream. Hydrogen peroxide is known to destroy cancer cells without damaging healthy cells. For cancer therapy, 50-75 gram IV doses are used every week for 6 months as part of a comprehensive and holistic cancer recovery system.

Vitamin C also has anti-viral and anti-bacterial properties, and it stimulates the immune response by improving white blood cell activity. Serious viral infections, like:  mononucleosis, viral hepatitis and Epstein Barr (all linked to so-called chronic fatigue syndrome) have been eradicated by intravenous Vitamin C in just 6 treatments.

High dose Vitamin C therapy via IV also detoxifies heavy metals and other environmental toxins and chemicals.

According to international Vitamin C expert, Dr. Ronald Hunninghake:

“Vitamin C IV Therapy is the premier treatment for chronic infection and delivers about 200 to 300 times the normal amount of vitamin C that your blood normally experiences just eating a balanced diet.”

Intravenous vitamin C is able to increase blood levels 70 times with only a 2000mg injection (2 grams). I had 12 times that amount (25 grams) during my Ozone 10-pass and vitamin C was not the primary treatment!

Right after my 10-pass session another man came in to the treatment room. He was about 65 years old; a new age hippie kind of guy. He was carrying a book in his hand like one would hold a newborn child.  It was an original hardback version of Autobiography of a Yogi circa 1946; I recognized the cover right away.  We talked while I was prepped for my next therapy session, PK and BiOcean. (More on these new therapies in a minute). The man, Jeff, was about to get a ‘Super Knott’ UBI Therapy (UBI stands for Ultraviolet Blood Irradiation).

Later I learned that considerable research into Ultraviolet light therapy began in the 1800’s. In 1870 UV light began to be used medically for treatment of disease. Seattle scientist Doctor Emmett Knott was one of the pioneers. He sought out the bactericidal property of ultraviolet light rays to treat infectious diseases of the bloodstream. He received a patent on his device for treating bloodstream infections. Knott’s Hemo-Irradiator was used in the 1930’s to 1950’s and had a cure rate of 98% in early and moderate infections and an amazing 50% on terminal cases. The device worked for healing of all kinds of diseases, not just bacterial infections but viral, autoimmune-like disorders like lupus, infectious wounds, asthma and arthritis–among others.

This Knott UBI device and healing system still works today. 

Ultraviolet blood irradiation (UBI) therapy is administered by a device called the Knott Hemo-irradiator.  (Though only one of the original Knott devices is still operational today–for information about the politics related to that see a curezone link to my doctor’s newsletter:


UBI therapy enhances immune function. UV radiation can be used to purify water and treat sewage but it can also purify the blood of toxins of all kinds. Once the blood is exposed to the UV radiation a rapid detoxification effect is produced.

The Knott technique of blood irradiation (approved by the American Blood Irradiation Society) can help:  Increases the blood oxygen level,  white blood cell activity, eliminate toxicity,  decrease edema (swelling) and  control nausea and vomiting.

According to Woodlands Research Center: “The treatment consists of withdrawing blood from the patient and by use of the Knott hemo-irradiator, exposing it to radiant energy between the wave lengths of 2,399 and 3,900 angstrom units as it passes through the irradiation unit at a predetermined rate.  The blood is returned to the patient through the needle used for the initial venipuncture (IV).  The entire system is “closed” meaning the patient’s blood never leaves the tubing or the bottle and is simply returned back into the vein after passing through the UV device. Treatment requires 15-60 minutes depending on the amount of blood treated and how fast the blood flows. After the treatment, 15 minutes of rest is required, after which time the patient may resume activity…”

Before he left, Jeff brought what turned out to be a signed copy of Autobiography of a Yogi and I opened the book to see that Yogananda had signed it with a blessing to the original owner. The words said essentially what Yogananda always pointed to: “strive for Self-realization with all of your heart.”

After my 10-pass ozone session I had a Biocean IV. Intravenous BiOcean is purified Ocean trace minerals that has additional minerals, amino acids, along with magnesium and potassium added and vitamin B-6, B-12 AND B-COMPLEX.

BiOcean restores optimal nutrients directly into the bloodstream.

Then came the PK Protocol. The original innovator was Dr. Patricia Kane (hence the name PK) who brought the therapy to the U.S from Europe. The PK Protocol optimizes treatment for neurological illnesses, including: ALS, Alzheimer’s, Autism, Cancer, Epilepsy, mold & chemical toxicity, Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson’s, Chronic Lyme, mood disorders and many others.

There are three parts to the full PK Protocol: IV infusions make up the most potent aspect but an organic-based Paleo/ketogenic diet and an oral supplementation program are also used.

The IV infusions include mainly: phosphatidylcholine, with a syringe push of glutathione–which I had first. It was quite an intense experience, the glutathione aspect. The Phosphatidylcholine was a breeze.

PC, also known as “Essential Phospholipids” is a non-toxic alternative to many Western-based drug therapies and yet is still not approved (in mainstream Western medicine in the U.S.).

The cell membranes are rejuvenated by the PC IV.

An IV glutathione push is given to increase detoxification. According to some literature I found:

“Glutathione is a small molecule made up of three amino acids, which exists in almost every cell of the body. However, before it can work effectively within the body, glutathione must be generated within the cell from its precursors. The presence of glutathione is required to maintain the normal function of the immune system. It is known to play a critical role in the multiplication of lymphocytes (the cells that mediate specific immunity) which occurs in the development of an effective immune response. Furthermore, the cells of the immune system produce many oxiradicals as a result of their normal functioning, resulting in a need for higher concentrations of antioxidants than most cells. Glutathione plays a crucial role in fulfilling this requirement.”

Each morning, after my ozone treatment, because of the sheer volume of toxins released into the system, I use a coffee enema but this week will be my last as intuitive the coffee’s acidity feels detrimental in some way. I will quote from my book for those not familiar with the coffee enema:

“The coffee enema came into prominence in the 1940s when Dr. Max
Gerson included it in his cancer-healing protocol. Max Gerson was a
pioneering and extremely effective natural cancer treatment specialist.
According to Gerson’s literature, “…from the patient’s point of view, the
coffee enema means relief from depression, confusion, general nervous
tension, many allergy-related symptoms, and, most importantly, relief
from severe pain…”

The coffee enema powerfully detoxifies the liver and gall bladder.

According to the chiropractor, Dr. Scott Priebe, “The coffee
enema is in a class by itself. Bile is normally reabsorbed up to 9 or 10
times before working its way out of the intestines via feces. The enzyme
enhancing ability of the coffee enema does not allow re-absorption of
toxic bile by the liver across the gut wall. It is an entirely effective means
of detoxifying the bloodstream.”








Jack Selk…

In 2012, my current caregiving client Muriel, the drama queen extraordinaire (and she knew it), was nearing the end of her earthly form existence. Exasperated and feeling hopeless from the lack of support shown by her two sons, both in their early 60’s, she exclaimed.

“Michael, go talk to Jack about the helium!” It was a downright commandment from the feisty Old Girl.

Muriel had surely lost it, ‘helium?!’ I thought. I politely giggled to myself, the faint sound of muffled chuckling and my ridiculous smile gave me away though.

“Michael, I’m serious.” Muriel looked at me shaking her head back and forth. “I mean it! Go talk to Jack.  Here’s his number.” She handed me a piece of paper. “He will tell you all about it.” (Muriel did not use helium).

The next day, after a short phone call introducing myself, Jack enthusiastically received me for a visit. When I arrived at the Garfield Park Retirement Community off of Bay Ave on the Westside of Santa Cruz, I came to the sliding glass back door. The entrance I would always use. Peering through the glass I noticed a man in a reclining chair as I knocked against the slider. Jack, was just about to turn eighty-nine, but you wouldn’t know it based on his fleet-footedness. In seconds he had the slider opened and warmly greeted me with a piercing presence.

With those charismatic eyes, that hallmark intensity, Jack was surely hooked up to a potent source. The first thing I noticed about Jack’s pad, as I took in his space, was a small 5-7 index card tacked on the wall opposite his recliner chair, which read:

“Do not meditate – be!

Do not think that you are – be!

Don’t think about being – you are!”

Instantly I recognized the quote and knew it came from the sage Ramana Maharshi. I pointed to the wall:

“Ramana!” Jack’s face lit up and soon we were discussing Non-dual spirituality with great vigor. The original reason I had come was now obsolete, for authentic companionship and Reality was the ‘real’ reason. Jack and I became instant soul friends; kindred spirits who could understand each other with ease; intuitively our connection allowed one another to fill in missing words, connect shared insights, all the while- just as easily- relaxing into the space between the words: silence.

Our main course never deterred; that first visit was no exception: It was Advaita-Vedanta—the purest, most direct spiritual teachings of India. Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta Maharaj were the two Giants pointing the way Home, to a place that was closer than our breath, more intimate than our heartbeats and inside our very own Self. The energy current of these beings, their piercing wisdom, were elixirs that ran through every single one of the hundred plus meetings Jack and I had over a four year span.

An appetizer discussion, which occurred just as often, was NDE’s or Near-Death Experience. These accounts which Jack pulled mostly from memory were sprinkled forth along with tidbits of quantum physics. Jack had been able to bring cohesion into these three spacious fields: (Advaita Vedanta, NDE’s and Quantum Physics). All of these transcendent philosophies were clear and direct pointers to our eternal nature as Spirit and Jack and I reveled in THAT.

Our discourses were always lively and deep. After an hour or more of sharing, Jack and I might suddenly be stopped ‘dead in our tracks’ by the profound wisdom we were sharing with each other. Light chuckles, a humbling infusion would follow; then, we would shake our heads in awe. With Jack, the silent power behind the words he spoke struck me like the boom from a cannon that never stopped searching for its target.

Soon dessert would arrive: Assisted suicide or as we both preferred, Dying with Dignity or Self-Deliverance. Jack had been a member of the Hemlock society. I knew the general theme of that group but had never realized that a system had been devised to allow someone to so easily take charge at the end of life. Helium tanks, (those used and until recently easily purchased at toy store as a party balloon device), were the easiest, cheapest and most simple way to ‘deliver’ oneself on their own terms.

Always when I listened to Jack talk, my eyes were riveted on him like a bolt to a ship. I could not even think a thought. Jack spoke with a fiercely practical, often scientific enthusiasm. Hidden underneath, not easily seen sometimes, was a beautiful sensitivity and deep compassion. If my awareness began to drift at all while listening to Jack, his face would begin to turn red and his eyes would emit a laser-like current that would not allow me to drift into thought. This was not a conscious action but simply a unique aspect of our communion.

On that first visit, Jack told me about the several ‘Self-Deliverance’ opportunities he had witnessed. One account included a woman, diagnosed with a debilitating disease, ALS I think it was. She did not want to go through the ghastly pain and agony of a slow demise which would end in her being totally incapacitated, hooked up to oxygen but still unable to breath because her lungs were filling with fluid. So instead this woman, before she became utterly incapacitated, decided to use a helium tank. She invited other Hemlock members to her home. She put on her helium hood (to isolate the helium) and turned on the gas. A few moments after turning the valve on, she looked out her window and said:

“Oh look! The bird has returned to its nest….” Those were her last words.  She then passed out, painlessly unconscious, as the helium gas took up oxygen receptor sites in her brain, lungs and body systems. Minutes later she was physiologically dead.

In the final decade of Jack’s life, he began to share his limited income with many other people through the use of what he called: “Stipends.” Jack has been giving away about 30-40 percent of his income to those in financial need. He told me more than once: “What am I going to do with it. My daughters have what they need. I just need these basic items taken care of and the rest can be of some help to others.”

One time Jack showed me a copy of a Vedanta text stating his reason for giving away the money. It was this altruistic and yet simple paragraph that symbolized the free-spirited way in which Jack lived.

Jack was grateful and knew that his long life afforded him extra time to share intimacy with his daughters and grandson while going deep into spirituality in the many ways I have mentioned. Jack did not leave out the relative sphere, however, the practical necessity of day to day survival needs.

I would do anything for Jack and he knew this but he was so independent that I was not able to do as much as I would have liked.

We did not talk much about my 8 year journey of chronic illness which began in 2008 but when we did discuss this, Jack listened with the same intensity, turned into fierce compassion, while asking important questions and deeply considering my situation from alternative perspectives.

Then one day about two years ago, the stipend changed and Jack decided that he would give it to me as I was doing my best to help my former partner and dear friend Aleece. So in the last two years of Jack’s life, his stipend moved on to Aleece – who did not have a place to live. Jack’s stipend paid her bare rent, a small trailer on some horse property. Aleece returned this gift to Jack, coming over about once every two months and pouring her heart onto Jack. Jack loved Aleece and she was able to touch Jack’s heart in a very unique way as they both shared a deep spiritual understanding. Jack often remarked that he had not met anyone like her.

It was always obvious that no doctor or organization was going to force Jack Selk into a hospital bed or hook him up to IV tubes. No way were they going to take away his independence while extracting his final resources under false pretenses related to extending life at all costs.  Jack was not going to be the type to be pushed around in a wheelchair either.

Jack was adamant that helium should be available to use by anyone of sound mind who wished to end their life before undergoing unbearable pain and suffering or simply because their independence was being forced from them. And Jack’s death was a shining example of that.

He was lucid, clear and brilliant as always but over the last 6 months prior to his conscious transition, since his move to a new retirement community, La Posada, (which provided meals as Jack loathed cooking) Jack had been slowly losing interest in worldly things—even more than his regular detachment. His physical body had begun a fairly rapid decline. He was no longer able to ride his bicycle, which he had always used for appointments or grocery shopping. (One time I secretly followed him just to watch him ride his bike, much like one would watch an infant play). Jack’s usual steadiness afoot had turned into a warble. Falls had begun to happen in the last 2 months–one taking down a book shelf near his recliner and one by the shower caused some severely bruised ribs requiring a course of tylenol-codeine. Throw in a few periods of incontinence and Jack was losing too many faculties–at least for him.

Jack died like he lived, fearlessly. He was fixed on source and his doubts had been removed about what we really are and that this ‘so-called’ life is just a phase of Consciousness. He had read thousands upon thousands of near death experiences over the last 40 plus years. From his deep spiritual search, conviction grew and expanded into Certainty.

Jack is a shining light that was focused into and appeared as form but was never that form. Our physical eyes deceive us for if we are looking out through the veil of mind we confuse what is utterly simple: the living spirit that animates us all.

For some reason, only a celebratory energy is here, a joy. Jack would not shed a tear over my form passing. It was not his style. As one who had been known to shed a few tears on the melancholy, I find myself infused instead with the Certainty that Jack is as he always was. I rejoice in Life Eternal. Now, finally a single tear falls. Pure joy  celebrating the living essence that played as Jack and will never leave my heart. No bodily death could veil our soul connection. (Besides, Jack and I have discussed in the last months a plan to meet in Norway, if as he said: “We are forced to come back here.”).

As Ramana Maharshi once said about his impending so-called death:

“They say I am leaving but where could I go?! I am here.”

So it is with Jack, he is truly alive. My heart bursts with great delight in our continued communion.


jack chetana michael

(Michael, Jack and Aleece  at La Posada January 2016)




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